Greek tourism bosses are horrified at the behaviour of holidaying Brits and are puzzled as to why the yoofs go so apeshit mental compared to those from other European nations.

I think it's simple: Teenagers are so regimented, tested and generally nannied to the point of dementia in the UK that when they get let off our authoritarian Government's leash, they just go nuts and cannot handle the freedom.

Almost EVERYTHING is done by diktat here. How much you can drink, what you should be eating, how much bloody fruit you should consume. Let's not even go into the smoking ban.

The town halls employ people from the public purse to rummage through the dustbins, examining our rubbish for evidence of re-cycling breaches. Goddamned council employees can even access your texts, emails and internet usage on the most flimsy of excuses.

The Surveillance Commissioner recently noted local councils suffer "a serious misunderstanding of the concept of proportionality." Too bloody true, mate.

On the streets your every movement is monitored by CCTV, busy-body "community support officers" wander round thinking they can stick their noses in whenever they want and the land is awash with bloody traffic wardens, litter enforcement co-ordinators, anti-smoking compliance officers and any other variety of jumped up finger-wagging Nazi you can think of.

If I was to be let of the leash for a fortnight in the sun, I'd probably raise a little hell too.

Okay, it doesn't excuse it, but it may at least explain it.