Red Leader: Enemy activity has been slight

The Union Jack now flutters above 10 Downing Street as Gordon Brown begins his campaign to make the British people stand together, be united and resolute and strong.

Apparently Union flags will be permanently raised at town halls and government buildings throughout the land.

He is obsessed with "Britishness" and keeps banging on about it in a demented kind of way.

I think any real sense of nationhood evaported a long time ago. And that might not be such a bad thing.

After all, it's only MPs and PMs who keep going on about it.

It's only MPs and PMs who can come out with lines like: "I know the British people will stand united, resolute and strong," when faced with a new (failed) terrrrrrr attack.

This brainwashing for us to constantly assert our Britishness is incredibly irritating.

I hate being coralled and pushed around like a sheep.

If I wanted to celebrate being British (which is frankly not very likely - not that I'm ashamed of it, just that, being British, I don't like to make a big fuss about stuff like that) I will.

I don't need the bloody State telling me what to do, think and say all the time.

Soon they will want us to fly the flag from our homes, like the Americans do.

No doubt not flying the flag will be banned!

There will be flag police handing out on-the-spot fines to "Britishness Deniers."

Notices will go up saying "It is illegal not to fly the flag from this building".

You think I'm joking, but mark my words, friends, mark my words.

I've been sent some shite in my time but this has left me lost for words:

UK-based GoCarbonFree Ltd has 'greened' Gordon Brown's ministerial Jaguar XJ V8 in a bid to raise awareness of climate change.

Gordon Brown has chosen a 4.2 litre Jaguar XJ V8 which falls into the Government's own top band of gas-guzzlers with an emissions ratio of 269 grammes of carbon per kilometre, or just over one kilo for every four kilometres.

With an estimated usage of 8,000 miles per year, Brown's Jaguar will emit 3.5 tonnes of carbon dioxide every twelve months.

GoCarbonFree will present Gordon Brown with four Gold Standard carbon credits that will offset his Jaguar XJ V8 and eliminate his car's carbon footprint.

Hubertus Thylmann, Managing Director of GoCarbonFree, says: "This is a perfect example of shoppers clubbing together to raise awareness of climate change and, most importantly, trying to do something about it. We hope that Gordon Brown acknowledges the effort by a group of shoppers to 'green' his car."