Red Leader: Enemy activity has been slight

Well.

Wouldn't it be nice after a twat of a day to go and have a couple pints and a smoke in my favourite bar.

You know, like I have been doing for 20 years.

Jeez.

When was it decided that the most important person in them was the annoying wretch behind the bar?

I was in my local with a contact on Friday evening; it's a place I go to almost every day and between me and the rest of my colleagues, we must spend a good two hundred quid a week in there.

So I order a couple of drinks and tell the carefully groomed gum-chewer struggling to understand the till to put it on a tab. I'd not seen him in there before, I noted.

"Weeers yer card?" he spat, to the guffaws of his unemployable mates scrounging free drinks behind the owner's back.

"I'm sorry?" I said.

"No card, no ale."

I was taken aback at the time and timidly handed my banker's card to the gooning moron.

I should of course have told him to fuck right off and walked out.

But the bar was crowded with his mates, the sound system was blasting out his music, and he obviously believed the business existed purely to enhance his ego and compensate him finacially for not studying as hard as the rest of us at school.

So I was caught off guard.

Needless to say, I won't be going there again.

To hear the politicians, media and police rattling their clanging gobs you'd think we were back in the Blitz.

Brown using a newsflash on Sunday night as if the Luftwaffe had just discharged a few thousand tons of High Explosives over London and this was our darkest hour.

We must be resolute, strong, vigilant, united etc etc.

Even when the Provos were doing their murderous best to maim and kill, we seemed to manage to maintain a better sense of perspective.

Yes, the country might be under attack from a handful of nutters, but let's not start weeping and wailing as if we're weak and helpless victims unable to avert our fate.

It's racheting up the "Terrrrr" (to quote dubya) so the government can get away with blue murder in the coming months by unravelling yet more of our civil liberties and claiming it's for our own good.

I am sick and tired of being pummelled by all this unbearable nanny batter.

God, I wanna go the pub and have a f*cking big drink and smoke a hundred fags.

But that's verbotten too.

It would be funny if it wasn't so upsettingly tragic.